Questions to ask your partner

Travel
1. Where would you like to live? Why?

2. Would you like to live in a rural setting, a city, or a suburb?

3. Do you currently have any family or friends in Ireland? If yes, you should verify this. If so, where do they live?

4. What do they do?

5. Are you close to them?

6. How often do you communicate with them?

7. What have they told you about Ireland and the Irish (the good and the bad)?

8. What is your perception of Ireland and the Irish (the good and the bad)?

9. Do you have a passport?

10. Have you ever been outside of The Philippines? If so where & why? (Ask plenty of questions)

11. Where and what did you think of the place you visited?

12. Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world? Why?

13. What was your favourite vacation? Why?

14. If you were to leave The Philippines, what things would you miss the most?

15. If you were to leave The Philippines and marry in Ireland, how frequently and for how long would you expect to visit The Philippines?

16. If married in Ireland, are there any situations in The Philippines (a sickness or an event) that you feel would require you to return to The Philippines?

17. How often would you call home?

18. What is the longest period of time you have been away from your family?

(A woman who is too dependent on her family may not be able to withstand the separation of living in another country. Some homesickness is natural and most can adjust, but you will need to determine if she can. For example, when she is with you in The Philippines, is she in constant communication with her family? Does she sleep in the same bed as her mom?)

19. Is she independent enough to be in a house for extended hours on her own, and if she never had to, how would she know she can?

(There should be sadness in leaving her family and friends, but the excitement of being with you should far outweigh this. Most Filipinas have many people living under the same household. Privacy and quiet are rare. )

20. Where was the coldest place you have visited and how did the cold affect your visit?

21. How would you react to living in a cold climate? Would you complain about it?

22. What is a comfortable in-door temperature for you?

23. Can you go above or below this temperature to satisfy your partner?

Life
Describe your daily schedule?

24.Tell her your daily schedule and ask if she has any problems with this?

25. What do you like to do in your free time?

26. Describe yourself in one word?

27. How would you describe yourself?

28. Do you have a pet name or nickname? Why?

29. Do you have any super powers?

(Remember, don’t make it all serious. Mix in the jokes, be funny, and keep her laughing)

30. By what character qualities do you try to live your life?

31. What is the meaning of your life?

32.What are your strengths and weaknesses?

33. What are your priorities?

34. What was your greatest accomplishment?

35. Would you like to be famous? For what and why?

36. What are your passions?

37. Are you ambitious? Describe you and your life, 10 years from now?

38. How often do you go to clubs or parties?

39. Are you a risk taker?

40. Do you prefer spontaneity or stability?

41. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

42. What is something most people don’t know about you?

43. What kind of people do you like?

44. Who is your best friend?

45. How many close friends do you have?

46. Have you ever had a friend who was disloyal to you?

47. How would you tell your parents and friends we met?

48.How do you describe me to your friends?

(It is important that you meet her family and friends as you can learn a lot by meeting her parents and her family at their home.)

49. What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?

50. What is the worst thing that happened to you?

51. How do you handle conflict?

52. How would you behave in an emergency situation?

53. Do you take responsibility for your actions and admit your mistakes?

54. Do you believe people learn from their mistakes?

55. If you were really in trouble, who would you go to for advice?

56. Do you know how to drive? If not, do you have any hesitation about learning to drive?

57. If yes, how long have you been driving and how frequently do you drive?

(Most Filipinas do not know how to drive cars, but the majority of them know how to drive a scooter or a motorcycle)

58. If you could relive and or alter one incident in your life, what would it be? Why?

59.If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why?

60. Do you have political views?

61. What rights do you feel you have as a human?

62. What are your attitudes toward issues of race, gender, and sexual preference?

Attributes
63. On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice? Why?

64. Do people tell you that you act older, younger, or your age?

65. What determines that an individual is mature?

66. Are you polite and courteous to others?

67. Under what circumstances would you yell at your partner?

68. How do you react when you are yelled at?

69. Can you give examples of impolite behaviour you have seen in others that you would never do? What was the most impolite thing you have ever done?

70. Do you consider yourself to be an honest person?

71. Do you feel lying is necessary at times? If so, under what circumstances would you lie?

72. When was the last time you told a lie and how did you feel afterwards?

73. Are you open and direct with people so they know exactly how you feel and think, or do you prefer to hide feelings that may hurt someone’s feelings, start an argument, or create an awkward situation?

74. If you were on a date with a man who did not interest you, how would you let him know?

75. On what occasion have you admitted you were wrong?

76. About what things are you most selfish?

77. What are some of your bad habits?

78. What bad habits do you expect to overcome in the next twelve months?

79. Do you procrastinate?

80. How sensitive are you?

81. Do you accept criticism easily?

82. How do you feel when you are criticized and what justifies criticism?

83. How do you define dependability? Are you dependable?

84. Are you punctual?

85. Do you regret anything?

86. What things worry you the most?

87. Are you comfortable in a social setting where you meet people for the first time?

88. Do you feel comfortable conversing with people from different backgrounds?

Emotions
89. Are you content in your own company?

90. What makes you happy?

91. Who is responsible for your happiness?

92. What makes you sad?

93. What things make you laugh?

94. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?

95. When was the last time you cried and what caused you to cry?

96. Is there anything you hate?

97. Do you get jealous easily?

98. What makes you jealous?

99. How do you handle this jealousy?

100. Do you think it is okay for men to keep noticing other women even when they are in a committed relationship?

101. What makes you angry?

102. Do you get angry easily?

103. How would I know when you are angry?

104. How do you handle your anger?

105. How will you react when your partner does something small or big that you don’t like?

106. What’s something that can always make you feel better?

107. What things scare you?

108. Are storms cool or scary?

109. What makes you feel secure and safe?

110. What makes you feel most vulnerable?

111. Which should have the final say in decisions, logic or emotions? Why?

Education
112. What were your favourite and worst subjects in school?

113. Did you play any sports?

114. Did you finish High School?

114. Have you taken any technical or university courses and did you complete?

115. What is your attitude toward education and its place in your life individually and as a family?

116. How did you pay for you education?

117. What is your attitude and motivation for learning and seeking knowledge on your own outside of school?

118. Do you have a curiosity for learning?

119. Can you tell me an example of this curiosity at work?

120. Do you consider yourself a quick learner?

121. Do you get bored easily?

122. What do you do when you are bored?

123. Who is to blame for your boredom?

124. Have you taken any English lessons in the past? If so, when and for how long did the lessons last?

125. Do you like the idea of learning English?

126. Do you think you will have any difficulty learning English?

127. How many hours of lessons and study per week do you think you would need to be able to communicate with me directly? (Most Filipinas, especially the younger Filipina women are fluent in English.)

128. How many hours can you commit for lessons and study per week?

129. How important do you feel it is to learn the language of your new home country?

Work
130. What is your occupation and do you like what you do?

131. If you do not work, who pays for your expenses?

132. How many different jobs have you had?

133. Have you ever been fired from a job? (If yes, for what? This is not normally a problem as it may just have been a personality clash. However, it is a good idea to know why. For example theft would be a big problem. If you are not satisfied with the answer, ask again in a few days, weeks or months when you meet in person.)

134. Do you consider yourself hardworking?

135. Do you have career goals?

136. Are you taking any actions towards those goals?

137. If you could create the perfect job for yourself, what would it be?

138. What type of job do you think you could get in Ireland?

Looking Forward
139. What are your life goals?

140. What steps do you need to take to achieve these goals?

141. What steps have you taken to achieve these goals?

142. Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die?

143. What is something you have always wanted to do?

144. If you had just one more day to live, what would you do?

145. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

146. If you could meet one person dead or alive, who would that be and why?

147. Name the most influential person in your life. Why?

148. If there is one thing you would want to avoid occurring in your life, what would it be? Why?

149. What are some things that you simply cannot live with?

150. What are some things that you simply cannot live without?

151. Describe your dream home?

Food
152. What is your favourite food?

153. What are some of your favourite meals?

154. What foods will you not eat?

155. Are you open to trying new foods?

156. How many meals a day do you eat?

157. Have you ever been on a diet?

158. Do you have any medical conditions regarding your diet?

159. Do you know how to cook and do you cook?

160. What type of meals do you cook?

161. What would you cook for me?

162. Is it important for you to sit down to dinner with your husband as a family every night?

163. Which meals would we eat together?

164. What activities should happen during meals; for example, talking or watching television?

165. Who is responsible for the food shopping?

166. Who prepares the meals?

167. Who cleans up afterward?

Preferences
168. What kind of movies do you like?

169. What are your favourite television shows?

170. How much television do you watch?

171. What kind of music do you like?

172. How often do you listen to music?

173. What type of music do you dislike the most?

174. What was the last book you read and what was it about?

175. What kinds of books do you like to read?

176. Would you rather read a book, magazine, or newspaper?

177. How often to you read?

178. What are your favourite topics of conversation?

179. Do you like a man with facial hair?

180. What is your favourite colour, number, flower, animal, scent, outfit, song, music group, dance, movie, actor, book, quote, musical instrument, car, dessert, drink, game, hobby, sport, holiday, Christmas memory, gift, nightclub, restaurant, place, thing to do, etc.? Why?

Childhood
181. How would you characterize your family life while growing up?

182. Are your parents still together?

183. Do they live together?

184. Were your parents demonstrably affectionate with you or one another?

185. Did your family have any struggles as you were growing up? (Poverty is a problem for most Filipinas, but they don’t really realise it)

186. What is your relationship with your parents like now?

187. What are some of the good and bad parts of your parent’s marriage?

188. How will your parents feel about you leaving the country?

189. What is your father’s occupation? Is he still working?

190. Was there a positive male role model during your childhood? If so, what did he do that was positive?

191. What are your favourite family and holiday traditions?

192. What was your most fun memory as a child?

193. What did people tease you about while you were growing up?

194. What kind of hobbies did you have as a child?

195. What are your natural talents?

196. Were you ever in a physical fight?

197. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

198. What kind of relationship do you have with your siblings?

Sleep
199. Are you a “morning person” or a “night person?”

200. Do you sleep in your own room?

201. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

202. When do you go to sleep?

203. How many hours per day do you sleep?

204. How many hours of sleep do you think you need to be fully energized?

205. Do you have nightmares?

206. Do you snore? How do you know?

207. Are you a heavy or light sleeper?

208. Can you sleep next to a snoring partner? How do you know?

209. Do you like the television, radio, or lights on while you sleep?

210. Do you switch off your mobile phone when you are asleep?

211. Do you shower before going to bed?

212. Do you like to cuddle with your partner through the night, or do you need your own space?

213. Would you go to bed angry at your husband?

Health
214. What are your attitudes towards alcohol, drugs, and smoking?

215. Do you have a tattoo?

216. Would you ever get a tattoo? If so, where and what would it look like?

217. What is your attitude towards doctors and modern medicine? Are there certain procedures you do not believe in because of moral or religious grounds?

218. Are you taking any medication?

219. When was the last time you were in pain?

220. How would you describe your energy level?

221. When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side most of the time?

222. Do you think it is important that couples take care of their appearance and maintain their current weight for each other?

223. What would be your thoughts if you had gained four kilos in one year?

224. If your husband indicated concerns about your weight-gain how would you react?

225. What steps do you and will you take to preserve your long-term health regarding weight gain, exercise, and healthy eating, and what will you expect from your partner?

226. When was the last time you visited a doctor and what was the purpose of your visit?

227. When do you think one should see a doctor?

228. What were the major medical events in your life (diseases, allergies, operations, medical problems)? What were the major medical events for your family?

Religion
229. Do you believe in karma, soul mates, or destiny?

230. Do you have any superstitions?

231. Do you believe in psychics?

232.Name the most important spiritual element in your life. Explain why it’s important?

233. Do you practice a particular religion?

234. Do you go to church and if so how often?

235. Is regular church attendance important?

236. Do you belong to a church?

237. Do you pray outside of church?

238. Could you change your religion? (Probably not necessary as most Irish and Filipinas are Catholic, although there are other Christian Religions and there is a strong Muslim tradition in the South of the country.

239. What place do you believe religion has in the world?

240. Which religions or beliefs are acceptable in a partner?

241. Which religions or beliefs are unacceptable?

242. Do you understand and respect my beliefs?

243. What religious training would you like your children to receive?

244. What if your child adopts a different religion, or shows no interest in religion at all?

Relationship
245. What are the qualities your future mate must have?

246. What is the first thing you notice in a man?

247. What are the traits your future partner must not have?

248. How ambitious does your partner need to be?

249. Name the three most important ingredients you think are needed to make a personal relationship work?

250. What do you like to control in a relationship?

251. Is forgiveness an essential element of a relationship?

252. Do you forgive easily or hold a grudge?

253. Is there a secret you’ve never told anyone?

254. Do you think the past matters in a relationship?

255. Do you think a healthy relationship can survive without trust?

256. Are you a trusting person? If not, what makes it difficult for you to trust others?

257. What are some examples that would break the trust you have with your partner?

258. What’s your definition of cheating?

259. Have you ever been cheated on?

260. If you partner cheated on you how would you react?

261. If he tries hard to win you back, should you forgive him?

262. If your sister-in-law was cheating on your brother would you tell him?

263. If your sister was cheating on her husband, would you tell him?

264. What issues do you believe should remain between you and your partner only?

265. Are there issues you would discuss with your friends or relatives, but not your lover?

266. Can you think of any reason to lie to your partner?

267. If you had an intuition that your partner is cheating, would you look for evidence or communicate your suspicions to him?

268. Can you think of ways one could violate the trust of their partner without directly lying?

269. Do you have any privacy rules?

270. Do you need alone time?

271. Do you believe one partner should change for the other?

272. Are you dating other men now? If not, why not?

273. How long has it been since you had a boyfriend and how long were you together?

274. Why did the relationship end?

275. How long was your longest relationship?

276. Are you currently communicating with any of your past boyfriends? (This may be okay depending on reasons, but check it out in more details.)

277. How frequently do you think the communication and visits should be in a long distance relationship?

278. If I asked your previous partners to list their biggest complaints about you, what would they say?

279. What social networks do you belong to?

280. Does your profile show you in a relationship?

281. When do you feel it is the right time to show your new boyfriend your social network account? When do you feel is the right time to show him as your boyfriend on your account or does that mater?

282. At what point do you introduce your boyfriend to your family?

283. Do you belong to any other dating agencies? If no, have you in the past?

284. Do you belong to any dating sites including dating sites in The Philippines? If not, why not?

285. Do you believe it is possible for someone not to remember or know they belong to another dating site or marriage agency?

286. How many email accounts do you have?

287. Do you believe you and your partner’s emails should be kept private from each other? If yes, why would this privacy be necessary? If no, should your partner know your account password?

288. Do you believe it is okay to have an email account that your partner is unaware of?

289. What are your attitudes about cleanliness (house, clothes, body)?

290. Do you keep your living environment clean and organized? (You need to determine what she finds as clean and organized and whether it matches what you consider to be clean and organized.)

291. Do you make your bed each morning?

292. Do you keep your dirty clothes in a neat, out-of-sight pile?

293. Do you clean dishes and wipe the counters after every meal or do you let things accumulate and clean up as needed?

294. If your husband works and you don’t, what should be the division of household chores, home maintenance, and yard care?

295. If you work and your husband doesn’t, what should be the division of household chores, home maintenance, and yard care?

296. Who would be responsible for keeping our household clean and organized?

297. What is your opinion of people who waste food, energy, and money? For example, how do you feel about throwing away food, leaving the lights on, losing things, not securing valuables and thus placing them at risk?

298. How do you see your daily life in Ireland? Do you want to work, go to school, or stay at home?

299. In the beginning what would you do all day while I am at work for 10 hours? What should I expect when I arrive home?

Love
300. What causes people to fall in love?

301. Do you believe in love at first sight?

302. How old were you the first time you were in love?

303. How important is verbal intimacy? Do you need to hear “I love you” or similar words on a daily basis from your partner?

304. What’s the difference between love, romance, and sex?

305. Can you give and receive affection even when you don’t particularly feel “in love”?

306. Can you put your partner’s needs ahead of your own? How will you know what your partner’s needs are?

307. What are the things your partner can do to show his love for you?

308. Tell me when you first knew you loved me?

Marriage
309. Have you ever lived with a man or been engaged? What happened?

310. How do you know you are ready to marry?

311. Could you be happy and fulfilled without marriage?

312. Describe your perfect wedding?

313. What are your desires for marriage roles; who will be doing what?

314. Does a marriage require ongoing maintenance?

315. What kind of things would you monitor in the marriage?

316. How would you cultivate honesty and good communication skills with your husband?

317. What things should be “yours”, what things should be “mine” and what things should be “ours?”

318. Would you prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage, or one that was full of excitement and crazy times with occasional disruptions?

319. What don’t you like about me?

319.1. Under what circumstances do you believe it is okay for the husband and wife to take separate vacations?

320. Would you want a pet? If yes, how many and what kind?

321. Who would take care of it?

322. Does or would your pet sleep in your room or on your bed?

323. What behaviours are unacceptable for a pet?

324. Can you get rid of your pet if it becomes destructive or dangerous?

325. What are your needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship?

326. How should friendships with the opposite sex be handled?

327. What type of assistance if any do you expect to give your family in The Philippines?

328. What place does the other’s family play in our family life?

329. How often do we visit or socialize together with our family?

330. If we have out-of-town relatives or friends, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods and if so how often?

Children
331. Do you want to have children? If so when and how many?

332. How important is having children to you?

333. If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

334. Do you know what your preferred names would be for future children?

335. Have you ever been pregnant? If yes, what happened to the baby? Where is the father from?

336. What would be the spiritual upbringing of any children we might have?

337. Under what circumstance, if any, would our child sleep in our room?

338. If I am working and you are not, should you get up with the baby at night, or should we take turns?

339. If we have children, would anything change regarding our roles and responsibilities in the house?

340. How would you respond to the following child-rearing situations?

341. Your one year old spits or tosses food on to the table and floor because he thinks it’s a funny game.

342. Your two year old throws a small hard object across the room, in your general direction.

343. Your three year old refuses to put his toys away. He just doesn’t feel like it.

344. Your four year old throws a ball across the living room and breaks something on your shelf.

345. Twice a week your five year old wakes up in the middle of the night and calls for you. He will not go back to sleep unless you sit with him, sometimes as long as an hour. If you try to leave he cries and screams, or comes running into your room.

346. Your six year old strolls over to a friend’s house alone without your permission, crossing a busy street in the process.

347. While grocery shopping, your seven year old secretly tosses a candy into the shopping cart. You don’t notice until you get home.

348. Your eight year old asks why people have to die. She wants to know when you are going to die, and when she is going to die.

349. Your eight year old is being called names at school.

350. Your nine year old refuses to eat many of the meals you serve; especially her vegetables, yet she still wants her snacks and desserts.

351. Your nine year old was caught looking at pornography on the Internet?

352. Your ten year old loses all interest in her piano lessons and tries to avoid practice sessions using different excuses.

353. Your eleven year old wants a new bike, but you can’t afford one right now.

354. Your twelve year old wants to wear make-up to school like her best friend.

355. Your thirteen year old comes home with his breath and clothes smelling of cigarettes. He denies it, but it is unmistakable. There are none on him, and none in his room.

356. Your thirteen year old is not doing her homework.

357. Your fourteen year old brings home an average grade for a subject in which she normally received excellent grades.

358. Your fourteen year old daughter wants to go on a date with a boy?

359. Your fifteen year old wants a weekend job to make some extra money, but he needs you to drive him to and from work.

360. Your sixteen year old is on the high-school debate team and wins the regional championships.

361. Your seventeen year old daughter is pregnant.

362. Your seventeen year old son got his girlfriend pregnant.

363. Your eighteen year old doesn’t want to go to the college like you had hoped, but she still wants and needs your financial support.

364. At what age do you talk to your children about responsible alcohol and smoking consumption?

365. What is your star sign?

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